REDONE: Top 12 Video Game Heroes

YEP. I redid this list. Want to know why? Read on.

The title is self-explanatory, so I’m just going to clear up a few things: there are four rules to this list. The first is that there will be no “repeat heroes,” (by which I mean, I won’t have two characters from the same game at different points on the list; one hero per franchise), so this may or may not be entirely accurate. For the second, I have changed this so that now ONLY playable characters are allowed. I did this because I felt the inclusion of the characters that are now my Honorable Mentions made the whole list unfair. Similarly, for the third rule, no movie licensed characters will be allowed AT ALL, not even in the HMs. (Sorry, Mallymkun. I still love ya.) And, fourth and finally, the term “hero” applies very loosely in some cases, if you get my meaning. However, they aren’t villains, by any means, so they fit here.

I should also point out that, while I have played many games, I’m not a “big gamer” by definition, either; I haven’t really played a lot of the more famous series and franchises out there, such as Assassin’s Creed, the Metal Gear series, and so forth.

And without further ado, let’s get started!

12. Spyro the Dragon (from...Spyro...the Dragon)

Remember when I said I wasn’t a big gamer? Well, among the great pantheon of video game series and franchises out there, there are some notable series from which I HAVE PLAYED...a single game in the entire bunch. And this is one of them. I’ve only played one Spyro game, the third from the original trilogy, “Year of the Dragon.” (Though I GREATLY want to play the slightly more recent “Legend of Spyro” series, as well as Skylanders...sigh…also, I am aware the image used here is NOT from that particular game.) This energetic little purple rascal half-flies, half...bounces along on many a daring quest...in the case of my one experience, he set off to save a nest of dragon’s eggs from an EEEEEVIL sorceress, known as...the Sorceress! LE GASP! The Sorceress plans to clip the wings of the baby dragons when they hatch, using them to create a special concoction that will make her immortal...huh. And I thought the two cons from “Pete’s Dragon” came up with every possible bloody way dragon body parts could be used...

11. Banjo & Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie (...OF COURSE!)

I’m honestly stunned that I originally didn’t even put these guys among the Honorable Mentions, if not in the list itself! Banjo-Kazooie was a personal favorite of mine as a kid, mostly for its sense of zany, almost Shrek-like by today’s standards, humor. Banjo is a bear who, fittingly enough, loves a-playin’ his banjo, and lives with his friend, Kazooie, a sprightly little bird who’s always up for an adventure. The two are thrust into such an adventure when the wicked witch Gruntilda - basically, throw the Evil Queen, the Three Witches from “Macbeth,” and the Wicked Witch of the West into a blender and give the result a Dr. Who scarf - plots to make herself the Fairest in the Land by draining the youth from Banjo’s little sister and using it to make a potion to make herself young and beautiful again. So, the two head off to save Banjo’s sister from the rhyming old hag...and do. (shrugs) Pretty straightforward...insert sequel involving robots.

10. Mega Man (from...Mega Man...NOT AGAIN!!!)

One of the most iconic video game characters of all time, this laser-blasting android fights an endless battle with the treacherous Dr. Wily and his band of Robot Masters. Essentially a robotic soldier or police officer, Mega Man’s true goal is to bring peace to the world...unfortunately, the war-mongering Wily just can’t let that slide. I’ve played several Mega Man games; they’re fun, they’re action-packed, and the various Robots you encounter are unique and imaginative. I’m actually surprised I’m putting him so low on the list...I can’t really explain why...so I won’t bother. Suffice it to say that I love this warrior of justice who could put RoboCop to shame, and I hope to play more with him in the future!

9. Link (from The Legend of Zelda)

I have only played ONE Legend of Zelda game, namely, “Ocarina of Time.” WITH THAT SAID, I friggin LOVE Ocarina, and thus, I love Link. Courageous and bold, this Hyrulean warrior (who always made me think of what Santa’s elves look like when playing Dungeons and Dragons, or something…) uses the titular Ocarina to travel backwards and forwards in time, trying to find his place in the world as he ages and regresses, as well save the mysterious Princess Zelda from the diabolical Ganon. Now, if only he could do us all a favor and SQUASH that Tinker Bell ripoff, Navi…

8. Sonic the Hedgehog (from...Sonic the Hedgehog (eye twitches))

Yet again, another major franchise/character, from which I’ve only experienced ONE game. In this case, the game is “Sonic Unleashed.” It’s my understanding that Unleashed earns some mixed emotions from the Sonic fanbase; some love it for its story, voice acting, and overall look, while others tend to shove it aside due to its jittery gameplay, especially during the infamous “Werehog” stages. For me, as a person who’s played this game and this game alone, I love it. I have seen some Sonic cartoons/anime shows as well, so that probably helps boost this super-speedy video game icon up a bit, as well. (I have neither seen, nor want to see, any Legend of Zelda cartoons.)

7. Mario & Luigi (from the Mario Bros. franchise)

And, FINALLY, here are some video game icons I HAVE played many, many games with. Mario & Luigi are among the most recognizable and iconic heroes in all of video game history, right alongside the aforementioned Sonic, to say nothing of Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, Pac-Man, and others. They’re also among the funniest; the games, over time, seem to have taken an almost self-reverential humor about themselves, but even in their beginnings, the Mario Bros. never took themselves too seriously. Let’s face it, people: how serious can you make a story about two stereotypical Italian plumbers bouncing around on pipes and floating blocks to save an annoying pink Princess from a fire breathing turtle monster? However, when you really get down to it, there isn’t much TO the Mario Bros.; Mario’s the brave one, Luigi’s the scared one, they have funny accents...and that’s about all you can say about them as characters. Therefore, as much as I love the Mario Bros., and while I’ve played more of their games than some other iconic video game characters, I just don’t feel justified putting them higher on the list.

6. Batman (from various)

Even though I’m picturing the Arkham Asylum version here, there are actually a few good Batman games out there outside of the Arkham series. There’s the DCAU inspired “Batman: Vengeance,” and its semi-sequel, “Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu.” Also inspired by the DCAU are the SEGA Genesis and Super Nintendo versions of “The Adventures of Batman & Robin.” (The former of which, I might point out, is the only Genesis game I’ve ever played...the Mad Hatter boss fight was DELICIOUS.) The only reason I don’t put the Caped Crusader hin the top five is for the simple fact that he’s Batman; while he’s had many good games, I don’t think, even with the Arkham series, people generally think “video game hero” when they think of Batman, or vice versa. (Yet I have no such qualms regarding my list of villains...and, no, THAT list is NOT going to change. Most likely.)

5. Sheriff Bigby Wolf (from The Wolf Among Us)

I LOVE Telltale Games. I also love fairy-tales, tall-tales, classic fantasy, myths, and fables alike. And, while I sadly have not yet read the comic book series this game is based on, “Fables,” I suspect I would love that, too. Needless to say, “The Wolf Among Us” has easily become one my favorite video games. Our anti-hero of the day is Sheriff Bigby Wolf, and, if his name was no indicator, he’s really the famous Big Bad Wolf. Being a Telltale Games release, it’s up to the player how “big and bad” Bigby is, but even if they make him as nasty as they can, it’s clear that what this werewolf really wants is to let go of the past, and to seek justice, no matter the cost. A pity a drug smuggling ring (...of sorts...long spoiler-filled story) and a string of murders decide to make his life a bit more difficult.

4. Roxas (from Kingdom Hearts)

While I love Sora, his “other half,” Roxas, just feels so much more compelling to me. It was hard to choose between Roxas and Riku, because even though you have the Reverse/Rebirth section in Chain of Memories, you got a whole game - a bloody LONG one, at that - to play as Roxas and explore his backstory, as well as Kingdom Hearts II, which stands as my favorite game in the series. Roxas, like Sora, is energetic, sometimes acts “less than his age,” and will stick by his friends no matter what, and stand up to enemies regardless of how strong. But while Sora is pretty much good through-and-through, Roxas is a being made of darkness. (“I was born in the dark!” Obligatory Bane joke: check.) As a result, when he goes into battle, he can actually be pretty darn menacing. He shows no mercy, no remorse, no regrets, and treats it with a cold, clinical seriousness. Being a Nobody, it’s debatable as to how much Roxas really “exists” at all; he’s a being born from a strange heart, and its unclear if perhaps HE has a heart, himself. It’s a compelling dilemna and conflict with this character, and that little touch of evil in him just makes him all the more interesting to me. He’s not as mopey as Riku, nor as enthusiastic as Sora...he’s somewhere in the middle.

3. Alucard (from Castlevania)

Castlevania is one of the few “classic” video game franchises/series I follow almost religiously. This is mostly because I just have a thing for classic horror stories, such as Dracula and Frankenstein. Alucard is easily amongst the most popular Castlevania characters, and for good reason: the dhampir (half-vampire, half-human) son of the infamous Count Dracula, Alucard, in the original series (I’m not even going to touch on the Lords of Shadow reboot, for now) seeks to help and save humanity, while Dracula constantly seeks to destroy it. The reasons for both are very much the same: Alucard’s mother was burned for being a witch (being married to the Prince of Darkness doesn’t exactly make you popular), and her last words were “Do not hate humans. If you cannot live with them, then at least do them no harm.” However, Dracula did not hear these last words, and even if he had, it’s unlikely the King of Vampires would have listened. As a result, father and son are forever embroiled in an immortal war. With many of Dracula’s strengths, and few of his weaknesses, Alucard is easily one of the most powerful characters in Castlevania, and his backstory and twisted relationship with his father (though Alucard seeks to destroy Dracula, to protect the world from him, the Count seems to still genuinely care for his son) make him one of the most interesting to boot.

2. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (from Epic Mickey)

As a major animation buff, I think I was the only person who didn’t go and do research after Epic Mickey came out; with the exception of ONE character (namely, the Mad Doctor), I knew about all the “forgotten” characters in the game. The Gremlins, the Phantom Blot, Horace Horsecollar...and, of course, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. And, honestly, I can’t do this guy and his story justice...and make it succinct. SO, if you’ve played the game, you know why he’s awesome. If you haven’t, watch this video, and perhaps you will: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Bwrbg…

1. Ellie (from The Last of Us)

Most zombie survival games (and movies, for that matter) don’t really “grab” me, so to speak. Even with the Walking Dead, I think the trend is a tad overrated. BUT, with that said, “The Last of Us” deserves every drop of the hype it gets. And this girl is a big reason as to why. Aged beyond her years, Ellie is a perfect heroine for this type of story; she isn’t the “misplaced innocent” that characters like Clementine from The Walking Dead are, nor is she a stone-cold hatchet. Ellie’s mix of childlike enthusiasm and sharp, “adult” wit, despite her tragic past and the horrifying situations she constantly finds herself in, touch me deeply. But, with that said, she’s a girl who can take care of herself probably better than most full-grown men she meets in the game (except Joel, of course…maybe…), and when the going gets tough, she’s as tough as the going can go. (pauses) That didn’t make any sense at all, did it? Well, anyway: this lass is about as close to perfect as a heroine in a horror game can get; even the epicness of her companion, Joel, can’t match up to the humanity of Ellie...and her mysterious immunity to zombie-ism. With these attributes and more, I can safely name Ellie as my favorite video game hero.

Honorable Mentions Go To…

Kenny (from The Walking Dead)

Despite being non-playable, Kenny is the only video game hero who has touched my heart so deeply, that his death made me cry. “The Walking Dead: Season 2” sees Kenny with a new family, after - spoilers - his son was turned into a zombie and his wife committed suicide in the previous game. But, sadly, he loses his new love, Sarita, as well, and this, along with a whole slew of violent, traumatic incidents, eventually drives him...well...a bit loopy. In the last chapter, he and the only other remaining member of your group get into a brutal fight, and you have to decide whether to let them have at each other...or stop the fight. With a bullet. (pauses) Because of the story structure, I was convinced Kenny was going to die anyway; his time had come. (pauses again) I later found out that was not the case.

I’m sorry, Ken. I’m very, very sorry.

Cheshire Cat (from the American McGee’s Alice series)

For those who don’t already know, I cannot STAND Alice herself in these games, especially in the second game, “Madness Returns.” I know a lot of people who have played these games love her, and I know that McGee’s version of Alice has become something of a cult classic character (much like the games themselves), but I seriously want to throw her off a cliff every time I play...and often I do. I hate her that much. BUT, by some stroke of strangeness, the more I hate Alice, the more I come to admire this Cheshire Cat. I might go more into why I love this cat at a future time, in another list (again, that’s a MIGHT), but for now, let’s cover that simple grounds: for all the Hell Alice puts him through, for all the times he has to risk his nine lives (well...probably closer to six or seven by this point), and regardless of whatever ulterior motives this tricky madcat may or may not have, he still stands by her and guides her, through thick and thin. Go kitty!

OTHER Honorable Mentions

Sly Cooper from TITULAR CHARACTER OF THE SERIES

Connor from Assassin’s Creed III

Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series