UPDATED: Top 12 Queens of Hearts

“I pictured to myself the Queen of Hearts as a sort of embodiment of ungovernable passion - a blind and aimless Fury. The Red Queen was also a fury, but of a different kind: cold and calm; she must be formal and strict, yet not unkindly; pedantic to the tenth degree, the concentrated essence of all governesses!” - Lewis Carroll, “Alice on the Stage”

And, yes, I am specifically speaking of THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, not The Red Queen; and, yes, several of these characters use the moniker of The Red Queen, or interchangeably use both titles, but it’s the actual character that counts. Carroll himself - as you can see above - specified the difference between the two. AND YES, sometimes the Queen is portrayed “colder” than in Carroll’s words, but if the motif is playing cards, the phrase of “off with their heads!” or some variation is used, AND roses are involved, I say “Queen of Hearts.” I END MY NERDY, RANTING STATEMENT!

Phew...now, with that said, why don’t we just go straight into the list, huh? Huh? Good, thank you.

12. Jennifer Koenig & Barbara Hershey, from Once Upon a Time (in Wonderland)

This Queen IS decidedly colder, darker, and more calculating from Carroll’s version; her personality is definitely more in the line of The Red Queen, but she’s called the Queen of Hearts, and definitely offs some heads (...rather hilariously, but that’s another story…), so she certainly counts. In “Hat Trick,” a story that tells the origins of Jefferson the Mad Hatter (I LOVE YOU!!! Ahem...sorry...still getting over him not quite making my list of Top 12 Hatters…), the Queen is played by Jennifer Koenig; she is kept a near-complete mystery, speaking in strange whispers to her Knave and keeping her face covered at all times. In terms of backstory related to the universe of “Once,” we know she and Regina the Evil Queen had some sort of “beef” in the past, and the Queen of Hearts keeps the cremated remains of Regina’s father locked away in a mausoleum on the Palace Grounds, but this is all. When she next appears, played by Barbara Hershey (pictured above, her face still covered, because I’m a meany), she is revealed to be Regina’s mother, which automatically explains quite a lot, wouldn’t you say? She then proceeds to become the main villain of Season 2 for the series, scheming to kill Rumpelstiltskin and take over Storybrooke; she is depicted as a powerful sorceress, whose black magic easily rivals, if not completely tops that of her daughter and most other citizens of Storybrooke. She later had a small-but-important role in the spin-off show, “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland,” where she is revealed to be the one who trained Anastasia, the Red Queen (ironic, isn’t it?) in magic, and called her “the daughter she never had.”

...Yeah...can we give this woman the award for “worst mother in literature”? (pauses) Besides the Other Mother from Coraline?

11. Miranda Richardson, from the 1999 Hallmark film.

Richardson is known for, among MANY other accomplishments as an actress, playing the recurring character of Queenie in the black comedy series “Blackadder.” Here, as the Queen, she...well...pretty much plays the same character. In fact, Richardson’s Queen of Hearts is pretty much a parody of Queenie in every way; from the high-pitched, whining-squeak of a voice, to the VERY infantile temper tantrums, to the constant expression of “I am not amused by these ruffians” on her face (only briefly replaced here and there by “epic pouting maneuver” and “Oh no you did-n’t!!!”), it’s very much the same performance, except whereas Queenie was a comically exaggerated take on a spoiled brat in a grown woman’s body, this is...even more comically exaggerated. It’s completely over-the-top, but, as I’ve said before and shall say again, subtlety has never been Wonderland’s trademark, at least in terms of performance, and she never goes TOO far. I think my only problem is that Richardson’s aforementioned whining-squeaking voice for the character sometimes gets a little TOO whiny and TOO squeaky for my poor ears to handle, and while the “Queenie 2.0” performance works, I wish we could have seen something a little different; Miranda Richardson is a brilliant actress, and I’m sure she could have brought more to the table, so I’m not sure if this was HER choice, or the director’s, but in any event, it’s a good choice...I just wish maybe something more original could have been put to film.

10. Vivaldi the Queen of Hearts, from Alice in the Country of Hearts

One word: unpredictable. While never exactly “level-headed,” this Queen can, at times, be poised, calm, collected, and commanding; statuesque and graceful and slight; a model of decorum and diplomacy. Then, at other times, as you can imagine, she can be the exact opposite: screaming at the smallest thing, only growing angrier each passing second, ordering executions left, right, and center. However, for SOME people, she DOES exhibit a softer side: namely, two people - Blood Dupre, the Mad Hatter, who is also her brother (though they try to keep this fact a secret), and Alice herself. With Blood, she is generally fairly civil and pleasant, and the two very clearly have a strong sibling affection...and even though she does get angry with him from time to time, those are more sibling spats than psychotic fits of rage. As for Alice...well...Alice describes the Queen as looking and acting somewhat like a close cousin of hers in her own world. (Some cousin, eh?) And the Queen’s personality around Alice is very...girlish, for lack of a better word. The two gossip and giggle about other characters in Wonderland (and since most of them are men, it’s basically the equivalent of teenagers gaggling about boys), and the Queen even reveals she has a giant collection of stuffed toys which she shares with Alice. (pauses) Yes, the Queen of Hearts, the most feared and powerful figure in Wonderland, cunning and cruel one moment then a royal hag the next...has a collection of stuffed toys that she plays with like a five-year-old. (pauses again) I honestly don’t know how to react to that, so I’m just going to move on.

9. Janet Henfrey, from the 1986 BBC Miniseries

Now, I doubt very many of you have seen this miniseries; if that’s the case, check it out; it’s on DVD, and I’m sure there’s a few places online where it can be found. While it’s a bit “dry” in some spots, for lack of a better way of putting it, and the music is hit-and-miss, it contains some of the finest performances of these characters (and two of the WORST, but that’s another story for another time) ever put to the screen. Janet Henfrey’s Queen, I have to admit, I’m somewhat surprised I’m not putting higher on this list; she is, in many ways, EXACTLY what I would have expected the Queen of Hearts to be like. She looks very close to the Queen in my imagination (albeit much thinner than in the Tenniel illustrations), her mood swings are delightful, the smug and rather sadistic satisfaction she takes in executions is a bit chilling in some spots, and...well...she’s just all around terrific! I really can’t put my finger on why she’s not higher...but, at the same time, I know I don’t want to put her any higher, either. Maybe she’s just TOO cut-and-dry, if that makes sense; she fits the book to a tea, but I’m not watching a film/miniseries to see THE BOOK, I’m watching it to see how it ADAPTS the book; changes, alterations, and artistic licenses will and must be made, and while Henfrey interprets the Queen quite precisely, maybe it’s just TOO precisely...but that’s just a guess. I’m not sure, let’s just move on.

8. Anni Long, from the American McGee’s Alice series

This tentacled abomination is essentially Alice’s alter-ego; the embodiment of her dark side - all her fears, her weighty survivor’s guilt, and her threatening insanity all rolled into one booming mass. In the first game, the Queen is the main antagonist, though she’s only onscreen in the game for about five minutes (cutscene-wise), and only has one quick line - “Off with your head!” - and a rather devillish monologue to say before her ultimate defeat. In the second game, the Queen reappears significantly weakened; the Dollmaker’s Ruin and the damage Alice did to her and her realm of Queensland in the last game have lasted, and though she did return, she holds far less power than before: her domain is in ruins, smashed and splattered all over, her Card Guards have returned, now mindless zombies, and instead of the demonic Jabberwock for a guardian, her new “pet” is a beast called the Executioner - a gigantic zombie jester wielding a scythe. (Dangerous, but ultimately he proves to be no match compared to the Jabberwock.) In this game, she isn’t so much a villain, so much as a neutral force: the destruction of Wonderland will mean her complete annihilation, and even though she tries to deny this, it’s clear she fears such destruction just as much as Alice does. And why wouldn’t she? They are two sides of the same rusted coin. Ultimately, she offers Alice advice and directions, but not before putting her through quite an obstacle course; even her “true form” in this game seems weaker - in the first game, the Queen’s true form resembled a mammoth, skinless beast with tentacles sprawling from all sides, glowing eyes, and a massive mouth from which popped out the Mad Hatter’s head, and from whose mouth, in turn, spouted a lifeless-looking head resembling Alice herself, and wore a crown of spikes that founted blood and flames. Quite sickening. In the second game, she more closely resembles her “puppet form” (pictured above, and which appears in some form or another in both games), but with a more human head, resembling a young and deathly pale Alice, with the tentacles she has surrounding her and keeping her tethered to her throne, like some sort of infection she can no longer control. “Now ain’t that a sight to set the heart crossways in ye?”

7. Armelia McQueen, from Adventures in Wonderland

From the disturbing and demonic to the much more silly and lighthearted. Not much of a surprise by this point, I imagine. McQueen’s...um...Queen (Holy Name-Based Coincidences, Batman!) DID have a few allusions to her famed chop-happy counterpart from the books (and the original Disney film), but for the most part, she seemed fairly harmless; everyone in Wonderland feared her wrath, but it seemed more like it was because...well...frankly, NOBODY likes to get yelled at. Again, very much a spoiled brat in a grown woman’s body, this Queen was often the main antagonist of the show; she wasn’t EVIL, per say, but she was used to getting what she wanted, and when she didn’t, or when what she wanted didn’t fly with the rest of her friends and subjects...well...things didn’t go quite so well for her. However, despite this, the Queen DID show remarkable maturity at times, acting almost like a strict mother to some of the other characters, and while she was bad-tempered and pampered worse than a pink kitten, she did seem to genuinely CARE for people, perhaps most especially the White Rabbit. Sassy and snappish, or warm and jolly, I think everyone can agree they’d all like to play croquet with this crimson Queen.

6. Helena Bonham Carter, from the Tim Burton films.

A.k.a., Iracebeth. Carter’s greatest strength is also her greatest weakness, and it can be summed up in one word: sympathy. This portrayal of the Queen is markedly more tragic and sympathetic than most: feeling she has been wronged by her younger sister, Mirana the White Queen, who inherited the throne before her, and feeling outcast by the rest of her world due to a rather bizarre tumor-like growth that makes her whole head three times bigger than it really is (and no doubt contributes to her unstable mentality) - and which, by the way, no one would likely REALLY care about, because...well...they’re all bleedin’ bonkers and off their ruddy rockers - she forcibly takes over Underland/Wonderland, and kills MANY people, including her own husband, out of fear he was having an affair with her sister. Even the crazies of her realm seem to realize this is no good at all, and a Resistance bands together to put the White Queen back on the throne. What’s interesting is that, while not exactly a villain you can cheer on, you can actually understand where Carter’s Queen is coming from; her constant question is “is it better to be feared than loved?” And even though she claims to come to the conclusion the former is better than the latter, her ultimate defeat at the end of the movie (I won’t give that away) makes it clear she doesn’t ACTUALLY think that, and you actually feel sort of bad for her (at least I did) once her punishment is carried out. You can’t support her, really, but you feel like what she got might have been too harsh even for her. I honestly can’t think of any other versions of the Queen that are straight up evil while still being sympathetic...but, that’s also the big problem here. The movie suffers from unoriginality, and while the Queen IS original, at least as a take on the Queen, in the grand scheme of things, almost ALL villains nowadays are sympathetic, or even not really villains so much as anti-heroes or “misunderstood.” So many great characters have been interpreted in like fashion that it’s hard for me to tell, much like with the rest of this movie, whether this performance is genius and terrific, or tired and cliched. BUT, with that said, no matter how “tired” it may be, I STILL like it a good deal, for the reason it might very well BE tired, so...what can I say? I’m weird. I’m not putting it any lower...though, to be equally fair, I don’t feel like I can put it in the top five either. (Especially after finding her "real motivation" in the recent sequel, "Alice Through the Looking-Glass"...they really need to title these films better...)

5. Kathy Bates, from “alice.”

Honestly, what do I need to say? Kathy Bates is a fantastic actress, and anyone who’s seen her performance in “Misery” knows she can pull off a character already somewhat similar to the Queen (again, SOMEWHAT) easily. And, yes, Annie Wilkes is basically what I expected...but, instead, Bates surprised us with a very different character. This Queen almost never shouts or screams or has a fit; when she gets TRULY enraged, she gets this wide-eyed glare on her face that bores into your soul, and the authority and boiling-hot fury she carries in those moments is just as terrifying as any moment Wilkes went berserk...largely because, it feels like she’s ABOUT to go berserk - it feels like any second she’ll shriek, jump out and you, and tear your head off with her bare hands, but just the smallest bit of regal tranquility is keeping her from doing exactly that. And the sadistic glee she takes in others’ pain and death is equally frightening; when she asks for Mad March, her top assassin, the evil grin she sports is absolutely spine-tingling. What’s also interesting is that, in a miniseries that so completely reimagined the characters of Wonderland, Bates’ Queen, her soul-piercing anger aside, is otherwise fairly close to the book character; when she isn’t scaring the living daylights out of you, she’s making you laugh your bloody head off! (If you’ll pardon the expression.) A remarkable performance, and one that deserves great credit.

4. Karen Mason, from Wonderland.

When I think of this Queen, the first two words that come to mind are “giddily disturbing.” This Queen NEVER gets angry; if anything, she so utterly ENJOYS doing what she does, it’s somehow funny yet creepy at the same time. She sings a big, showstopping, Vegas-showgirl-style song about how she loves to execute people, and, Great Gatsby, it’s PERFECT! Mason’s performance is wild and untamed; she described her character as following a specific lyric from the musical: “We don’t think at all, we simply feel, dear.” And, yes, that’s exactly how the Queen works; she doesn’t THINK, really, she just kind of goes with the flow, and does what she wants when she wants, with little to no hesitation and usually without even knowing she’s even DONE it. (“I need someone with a good head on their shoulders! We’re running low in that department lately, I’m not sure why…”) But, what’s even more interesting is, with that said, that doesn’t make her EVIL; this Queen, especially towards the end of the show, is fully capable of being kind and even rather wise. She doesn’t TRY to be a ruthless dictator, she just...well...sort of IS. The costumes are somehow flattering and unflattering, and just as expertly crafted as all the rest, easily rivalling the Mad Hatter’s devillish ensemble; props to the great Susan Hilferty for that. And, last but not least, Mason’s voice is POWERFUL. And, in a show FILLED with booming, bellowing voices, that is a very important word; every time I hear “Off With Their Heads,” I fully expect the theatre roof to go careening off into space with the force of her belting vocals. If you haven’t seen this Queen in action, do so; all these things AND MORE make her more than worth checking out.

3. Aunt Redd, from The Looking-Glass Wars.

Now, HERE’S a Queen that thoroughly EMBRACES the evil and madness. Redd may look pretty sinister in the image here, and, yes, she is; with incredible power and a ruthless personality, she’s a force to be reckoned with, and she can be utterly chilling. But, much like with Kathy Bates, she can also be REALLY dang funny. However, here’s the difference: Bates is cold and crafty at some moments, a “quiet sort of crazy” in others, and a pampered girl swooning over jewels in still others; she never becomes a raging queen (so to speak). Redd, as Carroll intended, is a Fury; ubridled passion and anger, whether it’s simmering and stewing, making her eyes smolder and her face twist into a near-permanent scowl (she almost NEVER smiles, and when she does, it’s described as being even more terrifying), or unleashing in a frenzy of power and dark imagination. But, unlike Bates, who feels JUSTIFIED in what she does, Redd KNOWS what she’s doing, at least on SOME level, is considered wrong...and that makes her HAPPY. She LIKES being evil; her favored title is “Her Imperial Viciousness,” and she will literally kill anyone who doesn’t call her that. This, more than anything, is the source of the comedy; in a way, she’s similar to the Joker from Batman, or some incarnations of Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes - they just so ENJOY being wicked, you sort of enjoy it along with them, and the way their “evilness” is prodded at, so to speak, by incompetent minions or their own flaws, also adds an element of humor. How could I NOT put this version of the character so high up?

(Incidentally, if they ever adapt these books to T.V./film/video game(s), I vote Famke Janssen for the role of Redd.)

2. Verna Felton, from the 1951 Disney film.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I don’t really need to say much. Felton’s Queen is probably most noted for her mood swings - she can be VERY nice, very sweet and benevolent, or she can just be screaming like a child in an infantile rampage. There’s little to no boundary between her emotions and how violent they are, and quite frankly, no one can bellow “OOOOOOOFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!” quite like she can.

But as iconic and as wild as Felton’s Queen is, there is one who is even better...at least, in my opinion…

1. Flora Robson, from the 1972 film.

One word: SUBTLE. And that word is SO rare for Wonderland, and perhaps especially for the Queen. Robson was famous for playing royal figures and femme fatales, so casting her as the Queen of Hearts was absolutely inspired. This Queen is regal and authoritative; she NEVER screams, but her voice is booming and commanding, and she keeps an air of civility about her no matter how angry she is or how horrible the things she does or says are...you know, like an ACTUAL QUEEN. But her body language, while regal and haughty to a fault, definitely carries that air of a true spoiled brat; for most of the trial scene, Robson’s Queen is POUTING. Sulking. And when she orders heads to be offed, she does it one of two ways: one, by SINGING it, in a low, raspy voice to a tune that sounds like a funeral dirge played by a music box, or by HISSING it...her voice rising to its usual booming tone as the rest of the court joins her...she IS the Fury Carroll imagined, but Robson pulls it off in a more slight and sly way than virtually any other, constantly angry and infinitely vain, and she snaps and snorts enough to come across as impolite (to say the LEAST), but she does it all with such elegance and has such a presence, for lack of a better word, you NEVER doubt that she rules this land, and you never doubt WHY. While she isn’t “scary,” exactly, I can safely say she’s still the Queen of my Carrollian Nightmares (if that even makes sense). And for that, Flora Robson gets the rather miniscule honor of being The Number One Queen of Hearts.

Honorable Mentions Include…

Camilla Power, from Neco z Alenky (English Dub).

Power, who, again, voices ALL the characters in the English dub of this surreal and rather disturbing take on Wonderland, gives the character a voice I can only describe as “pouting with every single syllable.” The animation and design of this character are based on a real playing card, which looks quite interesting to say the least; I’d be remiss if I didn’t take note of her for that reason alone.

May Robson, from the 1933 Paramount film.

Not related to Flora Robson in any way. And, with the possible exception of Flora Robson, Ms. May Robson probably looks the closest to the Tenniel illustrations of the character. This Queen is also probably the closest to how Carroll himself imagined her, I think; scarcely a moment onscreen with her is spent without her screeching at the top of her lungs, or doing this...um...weird-head-shake-roar which reminds me of Boss Nass from the Phantom Menace, for some strange reason...ahem: anyway, Robson NEVER calms down, never takes a break, and if she COULD chew the scenery, I’m certain she would. And...surprisingly, it works, either despite or because of how ridiculously over-the-top it is. The Queen isn’t even in the film for very long (the Trial scene isn’t in the film - it was cut during production due to time, since this movie combines both books into one story, and the Croquet scene is terribly short), but she makes a pretty good impact.

Other Honorable Mentions Include…

Alison Leggatt, from the 1966 T.V. Play

Jayne Meadows, from the 1985 CBS miniseries